Friday, March 27, 2015

#RIPLKY you're safe in angels' arm now. we will remember you for as long as we live.

haven't been blogging for the longest time since i'm free everyday anyway, but the thought of uploading tons of pictures & having so much to say, after being purely lazy hence not updating for a week after my latest post, the remaining days which follows, dread me even more.

but from the very moment when the media started breaking the news of the passes on of mr lee kuan yew, today i finally "show some action" instead of "always talking" and yup so i am here to express and share my thoughts about the regrets of every single Singaporeans for the loss of our hero founding father. been wanting to do these but felt words are not enough for me to specifically sum up the whole history & memories our proud father have left us with, all etched deep in our heart. 

for an instance, i felt shameful. the fact that i'am a pure Singaporean, able to hold my pink IC, live in HDB flats, having unlimited supply of food & water everyday, i should at least have a brief knowledge where/how they came from but i got zero informations about this hero here other than his status as PM LEE in the earlier years. the first few reports &' news were a lil too draggy i thought to myself.... from when he's admitted to hospital, to his discharge followed by the passing on. i can assure definitely there are plenty of people at my generation sharing the same mindset as me but that's because we know nuts about who i now proudly address him our father. Singaporeans' father, Singapore's father. but then again there must be reasons to why there are people who are willing to go all out and die for him where there must also be reasons why people disagrees throwing all kinds of nasty comments without showing even a tad of sympathy after hearing the unfortunate news. i got curious here since the past few days the repetition of this name LEE KUAN YEW kept going on regardless it's through the FM, through social media or on the screen. it caught my attention & i began to prompt questions, read articles & news about him, watch how much people grieve for him and how much impact his death actually caused to the nation. i am now roughly aware of what he've did for us, singaporean.. maybe the infos i've gathered over two days were only less than half of his lifetime contribution to this country, it is already A LOT to me alone, leave alone the population of 5 million Singaporeans in this country. His country. but at least i'm proud to still be able to see and know more about him and his histories before & after he've passed on.. (not in person) and yes i hope his stories will still be passed down to the next few generations & on.. & on.. don't know why but emotions rushed in making my heart felt extremely tight & heavy, sinking deeper after the realization of his noble history. i felt really upset and angry when i see nasty comments about him over the net even though the positive ones outbeat the negative ones. but they're just too ignorantly ungrateful to do so ( from my point of view ) i am writing this post not to claim any credits just tryna share and express my gratitude here in my space, so in future if i lose hope in any way, i would still be able to retrieve this from my archives as i felt he's not only a great leader but am also positively influenced by MM LEE. my greatest regret was never to had made my best effort to send him off instead merely standing or sitting by the sofa listening to the different stories about him, attentively in front of the screen. that's nothing, totally. even if i were to lose sleep 3 days 3 nights just to watch the show goes on i would, but my weariness can never be compared to his abundance sacrifications, when all his life he's only mugging for one reason, one nation, one country and the one reason is for US, fellow Singaporeans.. 

it all goes to him we are able to live in such an advanced & clean country. he made this little red dot shine when it is hardly even visible on the world map. how did our fellow foreigners even heard or know about this country and why the huge amount of them from different & bigger countries applying for PRC in Singapore? how did one man turn a small country into currently a well-known and popular country? he persisted and stood rooted to his principles regardless. if he thinks it is not rightful and that he felt your action could be a threat to the country, he'll go by the books, carry out actions against you so long as theres intention that harms singapore or if he felt your actions might mislead any singaporean, you are a threat and you have to go! tell me how many of us now, can be persistent with such principle? what if the roles switched and now it happened to be one of your friends or colleagues whom've committed a crime you felt was unforgivable and a disadvantage to the country but they begged for your leniency, or
 for a second chance? maybe this is one of the reason why there are haters wh have forgotten all the sacrification he've made, the heartwrenching decisions he's made and the hard-less truth behind the man you called, heart-less? i guess that explains the critisms spreading over the net without trying to rationally think for him in his shoe how he personally felt at every hard moves made behind the closed door. we're all humans and he too, is no exception. we all have feelings and I'm sure he did not felt good about it when he HAVE TO deal with what he GOT TO. (Even if it means he have to put his friend to jail) to achieve a better country a better singapore. if he is selfish he would've already thought for himself instead of putting all interest solely on the country's welfare, how many of us can actually grit our teeths against the pain when it comes to difficult & complicated situations?

i understand that different individuals have different perceptions we don't always agree with each others all the time but before the critics, look at the beautiful place we're living in. we owe it to him to be happily (though stressful) walking on the street we call our home, clean environment no suffocations, safely secure by the uniform groups of men who went under rightful disciplinary trainings to protect our own country. how public transport brings us to many different places at affordable rates (even though yes we really hope it stops rising) and how everything in Singapore attracts tourists. the laws he insisted on and the effort of his hard work despite the world war & the endless hardships with no freedom at all. Now, would you people do the least you can for him, keep all the negative comments to yourself at least for this week, let it be a peaceful one afterall peacefulness was one of what he's achieved..  

Apart from that, i have read articles his daughter posted online and it's quite heartwarming to know that they share a close bond. Most importantly, i respect him for his unconditional and eternal love he shared with his wife! i am 99% sure we're never gonna find such a rare and loyal men these days. even though they did not have their parents' consent when they secretly register to be lawfully husband and wife overseas, (eventually had their second wedding held in Singapore with both their parents' sitting by their side) one the few words from him which inspires me was that he thought "i don't think it is wrong to marry the same woman twice" and till the very last day they (have to) part, he refused to leave her to rest planting kisses on her. sorry if you felt i'm exaggerating here cos normally i don't express this much, but oh my god my eyes were filled with tears and green of envy! but i admit at first i thought it might just be like any other TV dramas we would usually see about the unrealistic "happily ever after" relationship about love, i thought maybe they behaved and stayed close to each other were for show or maybe they were close to each other but the stories about them were too exaggerating. there's a lot of possibilities and question marks in my head though it is still something happy & positive, a happy sight of an old loving couple whom were left with merely few strands of white hair preserves their love till date. please pardon me for being negative when it comes to "love" but it is also because i have never witness such unconditional love in real life and that the scary amount of betrayed failed r/s and marriages were actually so much more common these days that mislead me. then somewhere in between these few days i came across a video from Facebook that gives me intense goosebumps! it was a short clip showing his wife wiping his head half way through what was going on (maybe some political meetings) instead of hurriedly clean allowing the men to carry on, she actually do it at her own pace. they had soft conversations between themselves and mdm lee gave me a feeling she's just like all the other wives out there taking care of their husbands attending to their needs. they were laughing from their heart despite the few politicians presence. to my surprise, mr lee did not show any signs of rushing her off too! gosh! i am indeed dumbstrucked and my admiration goes to this loving couple who lived together throughout their lives till they can barely breathe, especially to mr lee becaus it stated in news that his wife was his FIRST love. KUDOS and THANK YOU MM LEE KUAN YEW FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DID FOR US AND FOR BEING SUCH A RESPECTABLE ROLE MODEL WE ALL VERY LOOK UP TO. you're now in a peaceful place i hope you have met mdm lee too. (even tho it sounds kind of illogical to say that)


Monday, February 9, 2015

They always learn when it's too late


hey peepoz! current site is back & publicized :) y'know i feel v touched by afew of my readers, for making an effort to reach me just to ask for invitations to my blog
came across an article one of these days about dad's. and i randomly felt this, this pic could express how i feel. so..

OUCH! I DONT KNOW HOW GRANNY GOT HERSELF SCALDED THIS BADLY LIKE SHE LITERALLY HUGGED THE WHOLE POT. i mean, it's THAT deep! my heart so pain la! aunt brought her to the doc and it is said that she's gonna recover in a week or two. god bless! 

an evening spending few hours catching up. 

Then it was lanying's birthday dinner with Jolene and her. Initially craving for steamboat but changed of mind when we hopped into the cab hahaha 

Birthday girl! Happy birthday and thanks for always being available :)

Yep, since we all haven't and wanted to, we pay our first visit @ SPRUCE. 

Nice ambience with awesome people. Dinner was good with a pint of beer best! most importantly the girl did enjoyed herself 

None to my likings on the menu and so i chose tenderloin steak.   
Enjoyed my night with the girls

Sunday, February 8, 2015

that hand fits mine so perfectly like it was made for me

just got home two hours ago and am unable to sleep. today's gonna be the most unforgettable day ever in the 23 years of my life. you can say it's  coincidence, or fate i don't know and i don't care. one thing i know for sure it's that i place and leave my fate in god's hand. if only we hadn't given up on each other we'd be the happiest couple in the world. but now that we've both matured, maybe we should accept that two person who love each other doesn't have to be together. 

it aches me to feel two different kind of pain. 

Saturday, December 27, 2014

deal with situations the way it is, not the way you wish it was.

are anyone of you watching the show on channel 8 at 9pm every weekdays? i'am not a tv kinda person, so i don't really watch tv unless i'am bored at home or when i accompany granny to do some chit chatting. oh my, it was my first time watching the repeat episode next morning and awww shawn's acting skills was impressive! not only me but granny, uncle, fat and hasnie feels the same way too. never a fan of him, but he's really good now la! had tears in my eyes and really, i felt the goosebumps when he was crying hugging the dead dessert woman. AWWW! 

my friend's favourite corner aka territory @ her home. we were chatting when she woke up and i got it right! other than her room, shes always at the left side of the sofa. it've been like that even when i stayed over in the past. :')

baby kimie is growing way too fast, i love babies a lot really. but it takes forever for xiaohao to bring his sweetheart out :( 


my silly boyf got this packet of sweet back. not knowing i dislike the popping effect in the mouth. haha, he always treat me like a baby.
10 years.

black and gold never goes wrong.
cheap steal! :P

someone kept this picture of me for the longest time. it was also taken during the period when we just started knowing each other. the first thing upon looking at this pic was "not bad 8 years ago i already own a dior necklace" LOL but idk where the hell it is already, remember momma gave it to me and i said it was ugly because of the way it is, short. and then....all i could remember was, the girl in the picture was the happiest girl in the world, back when life was simple, easy, loving, and good. no judgemental people, no heartbreakers, no troubles (except having to attend sch =x) thanks for loving me when im ugly hahahahahahahahaha!

if someone tells me that the sky is green, i simply say "okay" I don't need to agree with them, and i don't need to prove them wrong or show them "proof" that i am right if/when i believe otherwise. i simply go on with my life, with a newfound understanding, that to some people the sky looks green. and i'm okay with that, it keeps external conflicts from disturbing my inner peace... and isn't that where world peace begins? with each of us being peaceful?

 unless you're not.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

倘若心中愿意,道路千千条; 倘若心中不愿意,理由万万个。

feels kind of weird right now can't remember when was the last time i blog on a lappy. like i've said i have the best friends in the world! since my lappy is still with shaun and that i am too lazy to collect back from him, grace initiated to let me have hers, till i'm done :P technologies now are so advanced, her samsung ativ smart pc pro is so much better than my old and lousy laptop (even tho it serves me well, till now) other than it is windows 8, i like how the whole notebook is invented. conveniently detachable, and one thing i like most is the touch-screen function. it is always so hard to catch up..

almost missed dad's birthday dinner as i stayed up the whole night the day before and slept at only 4pm late noon. supposed to be meeting at 745pm but it was already 7pm when youngersis came to wake me up. but still heave a sigh of relief, i managed to make it! 

always the most blessed! i get to eat all of the crab claws while the rest of 'em settled the other parts muahahaha! and of course, fat peeled my favourite prawn without fail haha, sometimes i feel so bad seeing him dirty his hands when he don't eat prawns.. hardly gather as a family unless theres special occassion. and when i say special occassion, i'm only referring to the ones that are related and got to do with "dad" haha, he will never entertain the rest. yea, he's just that weird.. regardless, we still love him :D

our pillar of strength, the one who worked his life for the 4 women of his, our pillar of strength. and if there's an afterlife, i would still want to be his daughter.. well, i guess one of the reason why i'am still lazing around staying in my comfort zone at this age of 22, is because my dad (other members of my fam as well) supports me financially still. and no i'am not embarrassed about it, instead i feel blessed. haha but don't worry, i'am gonna drag my ass out to work as soon as i find a suitable one. (forever saying but no actions) im just that lazy..

someone took a picture of this leaf and send it to me claiming it resembles a heart shape. lol

sushi feast yet again with my partner grace, feels like forever waiting for her to be back from taiwan trip. forever travelling la this girl. so when shes away, i know i would have to bear with the mad craving for jap food.. it IS a torture to me okay!

once again, we're at the last week of december. just a couple of days and we're all stepping into a new year 2015. funny how time flies so quickly, especially 2014. but twenty fourteen had been a real pussy so glad its all coming to an end. i hope 2015 would be peaceful i don't ask much, just a quiet and peaceful one. 

silly one,

been really long since i last got my hands on mahjong. haha spent my xmas eve over at cousin kim's place. luck's still doing good :P biggest winner haha! fat fell sick unfortunately, so we had to leave early. supposedly to attend john's birthday @ jbar but the thought of it already bores me! so we fixed another day with john for dinner treat. prepared some gifts for a few of my friends, and im sure they love their presents judging from how much i understand them. ended the night peaceful and contented even though there were many places i could join different group of friends for drinks. he's so happy cos it;s is VERY rare for me to be at home while all is out.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

to find your prince, you're suppose to kiss a frog, not fuck the wholepond.

got an instant candyrushhh right at my doorstep knowing i have recovered from the sick bug. and i definitely CANNOT missed out mentioning this name because i would be nagged for my remaining years if i don't credit. lol! THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH JOEY I LOVE YOU OK? J* muarks! k lah it's really very nice to have someone who's so sweet to you all the time despite hectic schedules.

at last, final fuckingly i am treating my friends fair. convinced myself that it is really unhealthy to always spare 24/7 of my time/space for the boyfriend not knowing that my friends need me too muahahaha.

chill out with liling at secret lounge on saturday. nightlife is officially not my thing anymore, lol. yawning my way to dreamland at only 1am! -.-" it's not like i sleep early everyday, i can stay up the whole night turning & tossing on bed unable to fall asleep yet i feel tired when i'm outside. the only thing on my mind was my bed! can't find the enthusiasm in me already unlike the past. remember how i used to look forward to & dress up for weekends, heels, falsies & those super short dresses I used to wear. gawd give me a break man. find myself no longer putting so much effort in grooming myself in the recent years. joke is i don't even know when friends randomly talks about the names of clubs/thai discos. totally have zero idea what they are talking about, idk where and which are the latest & most-frequently-visited hangouts, i simply know nuts now when i'm out at night. hahaha! wtf didn't thought this would fall upon me. that's a good or bad thing? 

alright back to where i was, saying that i feel tired most of the times when i go to clubs, guess liling couldn't stand me nagging about how tired i was after only a tower. i think i looked very-uninterested and unaware of what's happening around my surroundings. i only know i'am drinking beer, spending the night in club just because it's saturday & the worst part, eardrums being blasted by the roaring of r&bs, trance & the latest hits. (roll eyes) as much as i would love to, i still got to admit i am officially OUT. blahblah no big deal ok.

mad craving for jap cuisine when i woke up one fine day realizing the sky was dark already, jolene had to do this to me. happily snapping a pic of her aixin salmons packed by eric, and sending it to ME! -.-"

HA HA HA without fail this sis of mine would still ALWAYS send funny/weird/annoying pics to me even tho we rarely see each other after we graduate. drunk dog

and oh i got a shock when i opened the image valerie sent to me in whatsapp tues morn. i thought she got beaten up by somebody with this swollen eye! anyway it's an infection.. yes that bad~ but hope they are recovering soon after days of rest. 

the angel often small see me. tsk