Thinks & Thoughts

Back again readers! Got a sudden urge to blog and since my fat's still sleeping, I shall make full use of the time to spill & share with y'all whatever that's on my mind now..

As I went through my inbox and whatsapp, I realized that 2013 have been really awful, bad and unfortunate.. I felt my heart aching when I read through those messages that I have yet deleted. I took so many friends who cared for me, for granted.. I was such a letdown during that period when my heart was broken and instead of pulling myself through, I chose to live in a world of my own. I ignored calls/texts, and I wasted so much tears over the wrong person. I've lost afew friends, and I've lost a brother who dote me most just like I'am his biological sister. He'd always try to give me whatever I want, and he never really vent his anger on me when I was unreasonable & rude, he tried to put up with me when I lost my senses and throw tantrums, he makes sure I had my meals & is always worried about my safety whenever I'm out at night. Now that he can no longer be here, I really miss the feeling of being dote on, protected by him, 24/7 there whenever I call...

Also, I lost my best guy friend whom also tried his best proving to me that he'll work hard for me to lead a better & much more comfortable life but unfortunately god have to take him away at such a young age. It's really such a waste why the goods always seem to be less fortunate than the bads. Good things always come to an end.. I somehow miss being nagged by him everyday, talking sense to me, teaching and guiding how to think positive and most importantly giving me assurance than he will be there to go through thicks & thins, happiness & sorrows with me. The sense of security and the trust I had in him, sharing all of my problems without fearing he would leak. Someone to share my burden with.. I didn't cherished him enough and it's all too late..

I also lost some of my close friends but I'm also thankful for the ones who didn't walked out when the others gave up on me.. And also drifted away from some friends I believe there's some misunderstandings but I don't think there's a need to explain. Come to think of it, it's been a long time since I last earned my own moolahs and I haven't been giving granny money, so now that I'm alright, it's really time to stand up, take the hardships and start cracking, hunting for jobs.

I believe god have a better plan for me and all that've happened over the months were either a blessing or a lesson. It's always learning from the hard way. But all the misfortunes made me a stronger person, even though I find it hard to trust anyone now. And it made me open my eyes to the ones who really cares, the ones who really matters and the one who don't. Even though I've made mistakes along the way, I have people who still loves and believe in me.. even until now, I have people who stretched out their hands trying to lift me up, and their endless encouragement that I can pull through the hard times, those strength and motivations were so important to me at that point of time.. I should be more than grateful..

I promise to lead a happier life, to see things in a positive way and will try my best to work hard so I won't be too reliable on my family members.. What's meant to be will be, and what's not, won't.. I'am so glad I made it through!