What did you do to even deserve this?

I find it hard to trust anyone now. Any single soul except myself, I used to trust my best friend whole heartedly, buy he left without saving his last breath for the last word for me :'( This is the 4th Friday without him, I'm not thanking god it's friday anymore... It seems like whenever weekends arrived, it feels like I'm living in my world, my own little black and white world, I feel so tired mentally, and physically I can feel this aching soul is dying to sleep & never wake... I miss those sweet short honeycoated words he'd quickly mumble to me, and then stutter when I ask him (i did it on purpose just to disturb him muahahha) Sigh, everything's stucked inside once again, I can't find the words to describe how I feel. It just feels like you have 10 problems to settle, you clearly know all, but can only let 4 out. The other 6, would've been easier if he were to be around. I TRUSTED HIM WITH MY LIFE. SERIOUSLY I FUCKING HATE HIM FOR LEAVING.....

He was a very nice guy, before.. He'll nag at me every friday if  I were to stay home. He would then drag me out, then he would promise me to send me back home by 3am before he was drunk, and then afterwards please & beg asking me to stay abit longer & we'll end up going home later than what I'm supposed to.. He would put his arms around my shoulder when he's drunk, and I would shout at the top of my voice, and then followed by " walau ! we're best friends what, best friends tired cannot rest on best friend's shoulder meh? " Weilun, you can...... You can! I'am so sorry even the slightest thing was so difficult for me..... I know you understand back then though.. SIGH. He'll call at the most unexpected time, and then complain that his body aching, he will call just to say he wants to listen to my voice, he calls just to see if I'm feeling alright. All these lil sweet gesture actually adds up to alot. My dear friend, when are we gonna meet again? :(

Each time I play this slideshow...........
I ended up crying to myself..
Nobody knows how I feel.
Bcos they don't know,
how great
how good
how caring
how funny
how irritating
how annoying
how sweet tho I didn't even bothered to think it was, in the past,
how thoughtful
how much I miss you.......................................................................

http://slide.ly/view/8d9cfa99f17aead026ec419e4ec8b5b8?utm_source=Gp_ORG_Share