Okay my lappy is failing me real badly like anytime can ki chia. Idk why, I'm tired but I keep thinking about you, the days we spent together. When you play with my hair you're drunk over and over again even tho I never fail to scream at the loudest pitch of my lungs. I want you to call me again in the middle of the night out of the blue just to say you want to listen to my voice.
Most importantly I want to hear you nag! Nag at me everyday telling me how important it is to stand up & prove that I can live better myself than being with any other people who doesn't know how to cherish me.. I am still keeping your messages & will always be. Part of the message as to tell me "我只要你开心" even after umpteen times of rejects from me.. I really meant no harm at all.. I really miss having you here... When you niam about the haze, when you told me not to rush or risk certain problems.. You indeed taught me quite a lot. I miss you saying anqi give me chance lah. 10percent also can, continued with "huh......... 0.1 so dont have ah? (you'll then insert a :( face) but bold & loudly says, it doesn't matter at all. I will prove to you, give me 1 year." WHERE WERE THOSE?!

The black and whites that wrecked everything. The clothes you wear, the place you slept for that few days, and many many more. Sometimes I would still treat you like you farkin existed... When nonody's around in my room, I would talk to you & I hope/know you hear me. Right? ELG........... Take me
With you, I'm having too much probs, all kept in the depth of my heart when my current girlfriend knows SOME of them, the rest I'd rather hide it properly inside no matter how much it hurts. If only uou'll still here, yea..... If only . . . .




Our last goodbye elg!! I really can't bear to. But I felt damn remorseful after reflecting agn and agn. All the maybes just came into my mind. Maybe if I rushed to the hosp, I can still fufil or help you with your stuffs that's left undone! Maybe if earlier on I accepted you forcefully, you wouldn't even had the chance to go for a swim at night (cse im a strict girlfriend) Maybe this maybe that. Maybe you won't even be dead. Maybe till limbei went mad! Sigh. It's time to work. You'll guide me even when you're on the other side right? You'll shine your lights and brave through all the storms with me right? Yes I know you will! 最steady的就是你嘛........ But what the fck is wrong now?! You gave up?! SIGH.




Thank you so so much, for every cent you fork, for every laughters you brought, for every smiles you put across my face, for every little kind of patience when I had moodswings & flare & throw tantrums and no matter the lousiest attitude, you'd still bear with it. Even tho you're really fucking annoying when you're drunk shouting out my name with the ELP behind scared people don't know ah! ;'( NOW MY FRIENDS DON'T KNOW, YOU SHOUT LA!!!!!!!!




HAI