Make a guess. Right or wrong, I'm still gonna start..
Used up almost 1 month to finish everything even until the very last day.. So the very kind and thought, sweetloving sissy nouvelle, despite working + studying + having to accompany her boyfriend, frequently came over to do the decos for me, she even topped up alot more stationary. Everytime we met we'd slowly carefully get what we should & what we need. Talking about these, we don't expect the sisters or the bride to pay for it as it was just a souvenir I wanted the bride & groom to keep.
Thinking back, it've been ages since I last spoke to buddy. I wonder why too but curiousity kills the cat so lets not bother or ask, I'd rather live my life peaceful quiet...
During the sisters discussion, there were alot of disagreements in between. Both nouvelle and I were a lil upset and moodless once it comes to sisters discussion. I mean like, if you insist on objecting, then why not you come up with a better idea? Velle and I tried our very best not to cause any disputes as understood it was Alicia's wedding.. So we continued with our sharing of ideas. Yet they disagree again I believe, deliberately. Its ok.
Velle and I decided to back out from sisters group & let them handle their own responsibility. The games, the questions the awful food. Tell me who knows my akl more than me. (-,-") Oh ok, if you say she've changed, then alright.. I admit defeat as we seldom really meet up like in the past as she;ve got to look after baby Estee. Maybe like what her sis said brenda or joslyn..
Idgaf, I just hope I can finish what I expected myself to. As promised & discussed together, I'll be packing $500 for her and with this lil souvenir velle and I did, I hope it did brought a smile to her face... Not only the sisters did not appreciated our doings, they give super duper sour comments/ We then appointed their positions before leaving as Velle was feeling super worn out already after rushing to work & to sch & then to fetch me. Well, upon leaving. my tear uncontrollably rolled down the cheek. Hah, yea its mere a trivial matter but idk why it affects me so damn much. And I believe Velle, too , feel as awful as I was by how I judged her expression.. In the room, actually Val scal already knew I WILL DEFINITELY BE HER SISTER no matter what. But I wanted to give her a suprise so both of us kept it as a lil secret surprise.
On our way home we decided to back out again as our job is done. & we're utterly tired.
Velle went back to her bf's place to nap for awhile then.
I was so angst when I reached home. I some sort of shouted, in a low tone as everyone's asleep. I asked & talked to weilun. I knew he wouldn't hear him like how I used to, already. I know my best friend can never give me any advises any longer as he's gone, but not too far away... After 5 mins, the same roaring of thunder sounded. I KNEW IT! HE'S STILL HERE WITH US.. And then it poured, not too heavily just like the 3 days of wake. Just as I was about to remove my make ups & clean up, Val texted me saying Shirley overslept. OH MY FUCKING GAWD, I DON'T WANT AND I REALLY DON'T WISH ANYTHING WOUL CORK UP EVEN THO I DON'T SHOW. So I prepared at my fastest speed & went there.
I can see she's unhappy but she chose to hide things to herself, even if shared, nobody can help... Well, I did not ask much as well.
Hmm we always describe, 8 years of friendship isn't what it seems. Yes precisely, we too have our hiccups, we had quarrels too, small tiffs, big fight as well but we've never seperated tho' distanced. It was good to see so many familiar faces there especially Sandra jiejie & Cindy ahzeh. I had gr8 catch up with them even tho it annoys me when everyone kept commenting how skinny I am. YES I AM I CAN LOUDLY ADMIT. I haven't been having sufficient sleep/food. I only grieve and cry till the matter's over & wait to handle the next. It was weilun & velle brought me here to where I am on my feet, out of the room, and socialize. The most important thing too they did for me, Weilun got a job for me so I won't disappoint him no matter what. I will try my very best till the extend I can't tank I promise.. I'am so thankful & grateful but I didn;t had any chances to tell him how happy it is to have such a nice friend, a caring and thoughtful one, a very humourous one, especially when I'm crying he would just keep quit for awhile before his ren sheng da dao li continues. HAHAHA. Guess I never will have any chances to listen to 'em anymore.. I didn't cherish him when he was still kicking and alive, so I have any rights to do or say anything.
Back on track, after wedding ceremony while all's playing & fooling around while waiting for the bride and groom to take pictures. But something idk happened, I was shocked when I saw her crying after smoking with Lanying, Lirong and Xiyu.. Best part was the furthest friend was allowed to go near her & I wasn't. Disappointed once, twice, third time I;d be numb. Still got alot more to worry for.. So I left her alone till she entered the ballroom again. I asked if she wanted to try bear with it & finish the photo taking session before going back to the hotel. She flared cried, the best part was, "y'all think married easy you go married la:" I was like fuck you I wasn't reminded by anyone about the date as it was my 8th anni with jeff if we were still together....." Of cos it somehow or rather affects me. So both of us went on our own ways till velle told me. Since shes going back to the hotel room, we should also leave, it would be pointless if we were to stay there without her. Shes my main lead, i was so touched shes finally getting married, enjoying motherhood & more.. Did not wanted to ruin her mood, so I tried my best so many times not to look at her or just hold back the tears. Who knows... Sigh, I was so disappointed and sad, troubled and they said depressed, already yet seeing her in such state PLUS THOSE HURTFUL WORDS. It cuts my wound even deeper & sharper..
After her explainations, I realized yes no matter what she'd always be there whether I need her or not. But dear friend, that was when we we young,,
I was the selfish one whom always do the one sided thinking, venting anger, throwing tantrums.
Yes indeed, all these years, you've been a gr8 one. No matter how near or how far.
I'm sorry too. I know you're stressed. So let me face it with you even tho I can't be of any help. Just allow me to stay by your side & I'll be alright..........
T I M E .
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